A Verse to Whisper....

..... or should that be 'averse to Whisper', since we certainly were, haha. J and I wrote this to lighten the mood a bit at the depths of our despair, it’s a bit silly maybe… but we were keen to humanise a pony we had come to dread. Nervously creeping up to her stable door and peeping over: 'I think she looks quite docile today, do you?' 'Oh yes, yes - tired even...' 'Too tired to ride do you think?’ ‘Ohhh yes, maybe we should let her rest a bit longer....' etc

To be read aloud at a steady working trot. All horses named are real.

Dramatis Personae:

Mr Parker, a steady cob
Leo, a lordly thoroughbred with impeccable manners
Rusty, Tilly and Clyde - some very naughty ponies


Old Mr Parker looked over his door
And saw a young pony he’d not seen before
The next thing he knew he was out in the field
Cos his stable to her the poor lad had to yield.

Then - great excitement - a rider got on
But two minutes later the rider was gone!
Whisper kicked up her heels and off the girl came
“Oh dear,” frowned our Pat, “Here’s one we must tame!”

The rider remounted while counting to ten
But five minutes later it happened again
Bad little Whisper galloped away
Pam groaned, “Let’s agree that’s enough for one day”

At feedtime, old Parker, he asked of the mare
“Pray tell us how you do it, my dear, if you’d care”
She tapped her grey nose with one finely oiled hoof
“Oh, these silly humans, they’re easy to spoof!”

And while they all guzzled and chomped on their feed
The horses told Whisper the things she should heed.
“I’ll tell you a good one” said Parker, “at tea -
“They bring it much quicker if you kick the door, see?”

“Most disrespectful,” sniffed Leo, as Clyde
Suggested escaping when the stable door’s wide
And clever old Rusty knew a trick sure to win
“Keep your teeth clamped tight shut and the bit won’t go in.”

“If you want them to look most amusingly silly
Chase them all round the stable,” said naughty young Tilly.
“Most disrespectful!” Leo looked down his nose
When someone suggested trampling on toes.

Amid all this racket Magic peered over her partition
She wasn’t at all pleased to see competition
“Oh my,” she thought, “a cute mare on the yard”
“To outdo that Whisper I’ll have to try hard!”

She fluttered her lashes and shook out her tail
And just to look dainty brushed her mane on a nail
Then Whisper passed by as she preened to and fro.
"That's a waste of your time, dear, they're geldings, you know?"

Bad Whisper caused havoc for all of a week
“It’ll take quite some time to make this one be meek”
Pat muttered grimly “I said 'have a cob'
Instead they have given us such a hard job!”

Pat glanced out the window and said “Quick girls, hide”
“More of their questions I just can’t abide!
“’Where is the water tap, where is the hay
What shall we do with this bucket gone astray?

Sorry Pat, but this bridle, it just won’t lie flat
And which way round should J wear this darned hat?’
I think if I see them again I’ll go mad
But thank god for small mercies, they never bring dad.”