Speed-dating for the Perfect Pony
As the weeks pass and the stable stays empty, the gorgeous, wicked Whisper just a fading memory, J is naturally anxious to ensure that pony-mum is working hard. She quizzes me gruellingly the moment she leaps off the school bus about how many adverts I’ve trawled, how many phonecalls made, etc. Truth is I am keener to rush out for the mags/local rags and scan for the magical words (14.2, dun, safe, Glos) than she is.
I have seen ads for a service which promises to bring you Your Dream Horse – to your door – within one month! This sounds like a wonderful idea – arranged marriages for pony-rider-wannabes and lonely perfect-ponies. For a fee of £80, Equibuy will do the looking for you to your specified requirements, height, color, age, intended use, email you a picture and details of the made-to-measure nag, then deliver it to your door for a two-week trial, complete with vet’s certificate, guarantee, and gold lame brushing boots.
£80!! I’ve spent more than that on Horse and Hound. How tempting. It removes at once all the problems of spotting the perfect horse - in Scotland, and the difficulties of coming up with tactful face-to-face ways of saying ‘he’s so lovely. If only he had the fourth leg,’ etc.
It sounds way too good to be true, and so I ring the nice Equibuy person with my queries. She’s so reassuring and so keen am I to be reassured that I’m very, very tempted. . with one quick signature I could be sitting back with my feet up, idly twiddling a haynet and awaiting the arrival of Our Dream Pony!
I have seen ads for a service which promises to bring you Your Dream Horse – to your door – within one month! This sounds like a wonderful idea – arranged marriages for pony-rider-wannabes and lonely perfect-ponies. For a fee of £80, Equibuy will do the looking for you to your specified requirements, height, color, age, intended use, email you a picture and details of the made-to-measure nag, then deliver it to your door for a two-week trial, complete with vet’s certificate, guarantee, and gold lame brushing boots.
£80!! I’ve spent more than that on Horse and Hound. How tempting. It removes at once all the problems of spotting the perfect horse - in Scotland, and the difficulties of coming up with tactful face-to-face ways of saying ‘he’s so lovely. If only he had the fourth leg,’ etc.
It sounds way too good to be true, and so I ring the nice Equibuy person with my queries. She’s so reassuring and so keen am I to be reassured that I’m very, very tempted. . with one quick signature I could be sitting back with my feet up, idly twiddling a haynet and awaiting the arrival of Our Dream Pony!
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