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Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Flumping the Jumps

Today Mr TallHat passed us by, leading the showstopping Diamond back from a session in the lunge pen. Pony-girl and I pressed ourselves flat against the wall, since Diamond was making a right noisy fuss and skittering all over the place and generally behaving disgracefully, or spiritedly, depending on whether you were doing buyer-speak or seller-speak. What a charming man Mr TH is, despite his high status as owner of the best horse at the stables (and we at the bottom with the smallest and shabbiest.) He caught my eye and smiled charmingly, so I stuttered out something like ‘beautiful – lovely – stunning!’ (I meant the horse, though Mr TH looked most dashing in his black breeches and Ralph Lauren shirt) and in reply he panted ‘very pleased – good prospect - little bit nervous –all a bit new – fresh’.
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Translation: ‘The ****** has had me off 32 times so far” - horsy people are masters of euphemism. Clyde’s former owner was in the school last week careering around on her new trial horse, who was throwing in a violent buck in every third stride. “How is it, erm, going?” I tactfully enquired of Tess’s mum. “Such a lovely mare! but perhaps a little bit sharp,” came mum’s reply, gripping the rail whiteknuckled as her daughter’s cries of terror floated back to us on the wind. (The mare lasted a mere week but, I am glad to report, has now been replaced with something much less sharp.)

The lungeing pen, it brought back memories of our lungeing days. We haven’t ever lunged Clyde as he doesn’t need to be galloped into exhaustion before he can be trusted, but Whisper was another matter. Even in the relative safety of the round pen we swiftly ran into problems as Whisper was alarmingly intelligent and managed very soon to turn the tables on us so completely that we were galloping in terrified panic-stricken circles around the perimeter while she glared menacingly at us from the centre spot.

Pony-girl goes back to school this week so can have a rest from daily muckings-out at dawn for a while. Too late now to enter the next mini-showjumping series on Sunday: Pat hasn't mentioned it again. Maybe February - ? We need some time anyway, as pony-girl has currently lost her nerve for jumping (despite owning the best jumping pony at the stables) and is making the poor lad hop over mere trotting poles.

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