Of Bucks and Baking

My cooking is a chancy business. I remember the time when J turned on me and accused me of not being a proper mum - “Daisy’s mum always puts home-made cakes in her lunchbox!” Anguishing thought! – my J, craning her neck to peep into Daisy’s box, mouthwatering delights plucked out by Daisy’s podgy fingers and gobbled down (by Daisy) while thin, waiflike J looks on, sadly biting into a dry beige Tesco biscuit. I at once set out to be a home-baking mum. The response was not what I hoped. For one thing I got stuck on muffins, and no matter what I set out to make, muffins resulted. Weeks later she begged me, yes, begged me never to make any ever again. I was reminded of this yesterday when RPD encountered a home-made fairy cake which refused to peel off its paper case in one piece, and advised “You have to be careful when you eat these,’ prompting a worried look from J ‘are they dangerous then?’

We have a horsy book which takes no prisoners where pony-behaviour is concerned. ‘If your pony bucks when you smack him for disobeying, then smack him again! He must learn that you will not tolerate such behaviour’. Absolutely! ‘But what if he bucks again?’ The book is stern on this matter and brooks no wimps: ‘only you can decide if your personal safety comes before condoning undesirable behaviour in your pony. Repeat the punishment until he understands that his action is unacceptable.’
The other day Clyde, a stroppy lad who knows best at all times, picked up canter at a slow, not-really-bothered-actually pace. So Pony-girl followed Pat and book’s advice and tapped him wimpily on the rump. Clyde was outraged! ‘Whassall that about then? you asked for canter, I gave you flippin’ canter!’ and up went his rear end like a bronco. It was quite a meaningful sort of buck, his angry nose on the floor and his back cloppers waggling furiously skywards and it proved the wisdom of the book beyond doubt. Clyde has taught pony-girl that such behaviour is undesirable, will not be tolerated, and that she better not try that again, Or Else.