Showtime
Clyde will be entering his first Showing Class (Veterans) at Cornfields Horse Show in a week’s time, a new venture for pony-girl and me, though not for Clyde, whose previous owner told us she had shown him several times and ‘he was very bored, I'm afraid.’ (translates: Never Placed.) Still, we thought it would a fun thing to do and we think Clyde is very handsome with his endearingly large ears, knobbly knees, impressive teeth, etc so any judge would be frankly mad not to give him Best in Show at once!
Now, obviously Clyde must be looking his very very best for a showing class and I’ve ordered a hand-made velvet and satin browband with little rosettes at each side in our team colours of Dark Pink and Navy. Such browbands retail in normal shops for vast amounts of money, so I hope the bargain Ebay price of £6 for mine doesn’t mean it arrives in a matchbox marked "For Your 'My Little Pony’". He will also have to be scrubbed, polished and shining to the last possible inch, and – this is the thing - there are 10 and a half inches of Clyde which have never had a scrub-up.
Pony-girl and I would prefer not to have to think about this part of Clyde, but among the boxes of little handsized wipes that Santa brought, a full range from BuffaHoofs to MuzzleMoppas, came a set of SheathSwashers, so far unused. I am very ready to be swayed by articles which advise leaving the male organ well alone, very, very ready, but we want to do the best by our boy and we can’t help but notice in the Livery Tackroom that the levels in every other horse’s bottle of Sheath Cleanser are slowly but steadily going down.
Clyde is an aloof sort of pony, arrogant even, and I don’t fancy taking liberties with his dignity, not to mention that the organ in question dangles very close to those big powerful back legs which, we suspect, caused the large dent poor Tilly his fieldmate is currently sporting between the eyes, possibly when she tried to get a dander at his sheath, who knows. I'm brave enough to pick off any piece of straw I spot clinging there, but it's a nervewracking operation which involves me stealthily creeping along Clyde’s side while PG waves a mint in front of his nose. One quick darting snatch under the belly and the straw is in my hand: but a long, twitching shudder ripples along Clyde’s flank and he slowly turns his head to look at me, a deeply thoughtful look which has me leaping quickly to one side.
So I’m not looking forward to sheathscrub day and feel that timing it will be tricky since its appearances are rare and apparently random: without warning a sort of flap seems to open like an aircraft wheelbay, and slowly and silently the organ descends, on and on downwards to its full, impressive length. It stays out to get the air awhile, swinging gently from side to side, then the same eerily silent hydraulics cause it to start the ascent again until it vanishes, flap slams shut, end of viewing time.
No rush to tackle the task however, as before Cornfields Show there’s much to pack in: Combined Training at Blade’s Hill next weekend, showjumping last weekend, Dressage tomorrow and Pony Camp next week. Clyde is lean and fit and gleaming with good health, Pony-girl is happy, busy, full of horsy plans - what a summer this has been: the summer of their lives…...
Please change any bookmarks or links to http://www.pony-mum.net/
Now, obviously Clyde must be looking his very very best for a showing class and I’ve ordered a hand-made velvet and satin browband with little rosettes at each side in our team colours of Dark Pink and Navy. Such browbands retail in normal shops for vast amounts of money, so I hope the bargain Ebay price of £6 for mine doesn’t mean it arrives in a matchbox marked "For Your 'My Little Pony’". He will also have to be scrubbed, polished and shining to the last possible inch, and – this is the thing - there are 10 and a half inches of Clyde which have never had a scrub-up.
Pony-girl and I would prefer not to have to think about this part of Clyde, but among the boxes of little handsized wipes that Santa brought, a full range from BuffaHoofs to MuzzleMoppas, came a set of SheathSwashers, so far unused. I am very ready to be swayed by articles which advise leaving the male organ well alone, very, very ready, but we want to do the best by our boy and we can’t help but notice in the Livery Tackroom that the levels in every other horse’s bottle of Sheath Cleanser are slowly but steadily going down.
Clyde is an aloof sort of pony, arrogant even, and I don’t fancy taking liberties with his dignity, not to mention that the organ in question dangles very close to those big powerful back legs which, we suspect, caused the large dent poor Tilly his fieldmate is currently sporting between the eyes, possibly when she tried to get a dander at his sheath, who knows. I'm brave enough to pick off any piece of straw I spot clinging there, but it's a nervewracking operation which involves me stealthily creeping along Clyde’s side while PG waves a mint in front of his nose. One quick darting snatch under the belly and the straw is in my hand: but a long, twitching shudder ripples along Clyde’s flank and he slowly turns his head to look at me, a deeply thoughtful look which has me leaping quickly to one side.
So I’m not looking forward to sheathscrub day and feel that timing it will be tricky since its appearances are rare and apparently random: without warning a sort of flap seems to open like an aircraft wheelbay, and slowly and silently the organ descends, on and on downwards to its full, impressive length. It stays out to get the air awhile, swinging gently from side to side, then the same eerily silent hydraulics cause it to start the ascent again until it vanishes, flap slams shut, end of viewing time.
No rush to tackle the task however, as before Cornfields Show there’s much to pack in: Combined Training at Blade’s Hill next weekend, showjumping last weekend, Dressage tomorrow and Pony Camp next week. Clyde is lean and fit and gleaming with good health, Pony-girl is happy, busy, full of horsy plans - what a summer this has been: the summer of their lives…...
Please change any bookmarks or links to http://www.pony-mum.net/
1 Comments:
At 5:48 PM, helen raven said…
a long, twitching shudder ripples along Clyde’s flank and he slowly turns his head to look at me, a deeply thoughtful look which has me leaping quickly to one side
In your hands, that slowness and that thoughtfulness are truly unnerving. Ah, the mysteries of male sexuality, courtesy of Merry.
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